Updated on April 22, 2015
For the last 20 years or more I have lived my life as a woman, dealing with all the BS here around Albany GA. and for the most part I have dealt with it alone.
I have had to deal with the church's and their hatred and discrimination, deal with a job that want more then anything to get rid of me because of the way I dressed, luckily for me I knew how to do my job and saved the company money or I would have been gone from there.
I have been called everything one could be called in the line of being a trans. I have been kicked out of place's to live and eat or shop, yet I did not stop. I have stood up alone for anyone that feels different here in this God forsaking place where the people believe that God tells them to hate.
I have spoke to many people trying to reach out and teach them about our way of life not caring about the hatred that was given me. I only wanted to make some kind of difference in this place. I have lost everything that one could lose, not having any family or friends left. My own children has nothing to do with me and blame me for their problems.
I have never ask for any kind of recognition or acknowledgment for anything that I have tried to do. All I have ever gotten is a lot of BS from the christian and gay community, not wanting me here. The Christian say I am evil and the gays say I am to open about what I am so I can not win here.
All I have ever wanted to do is try and teach people that just because I am trans that I am not any danger to them or their children. I am not that monster that they should be worrying about. If you were to look up child Molester’s you are not going to find any trans people. You'll find that for the most part child molester's are teachers, preachers and people that you would call normal in your thinking. The same people that you would trust with your children are the ones that you need to be worrying about. I am not saying that all these kind of people are like that, but if you check it out you'll find that what I am saying is right.
All I ever wanted was to let people see that we are not any different then they are. We share the same things in life and want to feel that we can live the life we need to so that we can fulfill our own lives.
I am glad to see that finally the government is starting to change their way of thinking about trans people. I know that for the most part it will not do much for me, but as the younger group of trans children come into their own lives maybe it will help them. I have gotten old and I am not of good health anymore and I get really tried out very easily now.
All I have left is the energy to work a little in my garden and try to live out the rest of what I have left as a life.
I want you all to know that I love you all and sharing my life with you has been an opportunity of a lifetime, and I want to thank you for your support.
I am feeling weak and really tried so I am going to stop now, thank you for being there for me.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean Chiasson
yes I have a dream of a better world for all of us.
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Updated on April 13, 2015
Sitting here because I was having trouble getting to sleep, finding a need to try and write a little. Sometimes I find it better just to get up and write rather then lay there and allow me mind to be filled with nothing but BS and most of the time that is all it is BS because most of it doesn't make any sense anyway.
For the most part I really don't think that we know who is to blame for what we deal with today in this screwed up world we live in, I know I don't anyway. Sure I have a lot to blame it on for the way I am now. But in the end it is only me that can do anything about it.
What is it that we can do to try and help ourselves feel better? Well, I like to write and sometimes if I can get my head out of my self pity and sit at my PC then I can give it a shoot. Maybe if I am lucky it will help, if nothing else maybe help me fall to sleep better. Maybe you can try reading or something that would take your mind off of what you are dealing with. We all have our own way of dealing with things.
Part of me wants to blame my mother and family for some of what has happen to me, part wants to blame the government and part blaming the women in my life, but none are really to blame for the crap I have had to deal with. More then likely I was born on the wrong day, at the wrong time of the day and in the wrong place, so there is nothing that I can really blame all this on.
I have more than likely just been dealt a bad hand and all I can do is live with it. Not all of us are born with that silver spoon in our mouth. Even though I have had to work hard all my life, I still end up with not much of anything, yet I am not alone and like many others we still fight just to get a breath of fresh air from time to time.
Today I finally managed to get myself out of bed and out to the supermarket to get me some food, it's been a couple of weeks sense I have been out of most everything. Sometimes its hard for me to do that now, with my health getting worst and mentally just being tried of dealing with all these people here. I get tried of fighting for my rights just to be able to live and go out in public anymore. I should not have to do that, I have already fought that battle, so I though. I had truly believed that when I was fighting in Vietnam I was fighting for my rights to live free and have the freedom of choice, but I was wrong then.
I have been taking my pills just like my doc said to, don't like to, but I must for my own good.
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And I wonder why I stay in bed all the time..
Sometimes I wonder if I will make it or not for another day and sometimes I hope that I don't. Being sick all the time is not fun for anyone to have to deal with and I hate myself for getting this way. Just last year I could walk 20 miles just to do it, now I can't even walk around the block most of the time and really I don't care to for the most part. I have found it to be much easier to just hide here in my home.
Yes depression is a powerful thing and can and will take over one's life if they allow it to. Sometimes I feel that I have done that, but every now and then someone say's something to me that makes me want to fight just a little longer, I guess that is what a true friend would do for you.
Like I have said, it is easy to put the blame for your depression on someone else or something else, but it really just comes down to you, Why are you depressed and what will you do to make your life better?
Thank you for reading what I write and I love your support.
Thought for today is to be strong in what ever you want to do with your life, you can do it and you are never as alone as you may think you are, you do have friends out there.........
I am Miss Bobbie Jean and yes I have a dream, one race called the human race........
© 2014 - 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved
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